Recently I realized that I’ve been saying certain things my whole life, not because I mean them, but because I’m scared to say what I really want. For instance I have always said I don’t know if I ever want to get married or have kids. Wow what a bunch of crap and how ridiculous that it has taken me 29 years to be able to admit that YES I do want to get married someday (when I meet the right man), and yes I do want to have at least one kid someday (God if you give me twins like you did to my Mom I am seriously going to kick your butt when I get to Heaven!!) and no I don’t have it all figured out and yes I get lonely too just like everyone else, but not settling in a relationship, or in anything else in life is worth the struggle, and worth the wait.
The last few days I have been lucky enough to spend time at my family’s ranch up in Creston, CA with my step-dad Todd Fisher & his amazing girlfriend Catherine Hickland. Cat is an actress, author, hypnotist and a relationship expert (she recovered from being married to David Hasselhoff so if anyone can tell you how to get over a bad relationship it’s her!). And right now I am recovering from my own break-up from someone I loved very much and could see myself being with forever, so instead of doing what I have been feeling like doing, which is curl up in a ball and die (LOL) I have been forcing myself to read Cat’s book, “The 30 Day Heartbreak Cure.”
I am not someone that likes the idea of reading self help books, so I have actually been reluctantly saying I would read this book ever since Cat started dating Todd over two years ago. She wrote it so I felt like I needed to at least skim its contents, but in the mist of my own failed relationship despair, that feeling of obligation turned into a desperate need to read the book that promises “you’ll be over him and back out there in 30 days.” And while I was beyond skeptical of this claim at first, now only 6 chapters in, I am adamant that everyone should read this book, heart broken or not.
Chapter 5 of the book begins with the sentence “One day, more than a couple decades ago, I finally summoned the courage to leave my marriage to David Hasselhoff.” I found this extremely ironic as this morning before I read that chapter I found nothing other than a wedding photo of Cat and David sitting out on the desk in our office! But way beyond giving me a good laugh this chapter reminded me of the importance of what we say. During breakups or difficult times we all have the tendency to talk down to ourselves – “If I was prettier, smarter, sexier, thinner, then he’d really love me or I’d have that job I want or that life I want.” This is total BS and yet we, especially us women, do it to ourselves all the time. The problem is we really believe what we tell ourselves and then we manifest those things. What we say has power. What we say becomes our own reality that we create.
So today I have promised myself to stop any negative talk I might have had going on in my head & work on manifesting the beautiful life I want. In chapter 6 Cat explains “There really is extraordinary power in our thoughts, words, and minds. We really do attract what we put out there, and we really do make choices and construct our lives based on what we say, believe, and reinforce about ourselves.” So positive manifesting is key in every aspect of our lives, including relationships. “We create the directions and events in our lives based on what we say, believe, fear and picture, or manifest for ourselves. We create every high, every low, every smile, every laugh, every tear. And yes, we most certainly create every heartbreak.”
Manifesting simply means forming a mental image. And when we form positive mental images in our mind every day of the things we want then we are able to work towards those things and not settle for less then what we truly want and deserve. If Cat would have settled and stayed in her unhappy marriage to David she would have never met my step-dad and found the man who has become everything she ever wanted and more. And if Todd would have given up hope after we lost my mom to cancer then he wouldn’t have been able to open his heart up to Cat when she came into his life. Their amazing relationship is proof that you can have everything you’ve ever dreamed of. But you have to learn to say what you want and mean what you say, because what we say to ourselves and to others has power. And everything happens for a reason. Every person God brings into your life has a purpose and there are no failures if you learn from your experiences. And always, always remember to Believe.